sassymaru | IC Inbox | VICTORY ROAD

[Well... he shouldn't do this. But he's going to. He's going to do the thing.]

[Which is. To put a hand over his mouth and try his best not to lose his complete composure laughing.]

S-so. So I see. A very - well thought out theory.

[Riz huffs, with more dramatics than he actually feels. Apparently, somehow, he is good at making Shadowmaru laugh.]

Oh, just laugh already. You thinking I wouldn't clock it is actually more offensive to me than you laughing.

I'm trying not to be rude...

[But since he has permission, of a sort, he lets himself start laughing in earnest now.]

[Riz tries to scronch his face in a passable imitation of Boober's most fearsome frowns, though the fact that he is clearly pleased to make Shadowmaru laugh makes it a rather meaningless endeavour. Reaching up, he fiddles with the brim of his hat for a moment, before--]

Actually, seeing as you are laughing at me already anyway, think you could help me with this?

[Riz pulls off his hat, not with a flourish, but more like a coroner unveiling a body for autopsy. His hair is... well, a lot of it is completely fine, if as messily curly as Riz's hair always gets. But there are also patches that seem... a little singed? And one or two segments where it looks like someone took a chomp out of it.]

Edited 2024-03-07 03:58 (UTC)

[Riz has very much succeeded in Laugh Quest - consistently. It's kind of nice! They should have these conversations more often.]

Why would I -

[Yeah. No. The laughter cuts off. Why would you laugh at a person in genuine hair distress? And also, how did that even happen.]

... What. Did you. Catch on fire?

I was mostly not on fire!

[So, just a little.

He sighs though, in a deep, very put on way.]

Just. Don't try and make a gun here. Apparently, the pokemon don't like it.

Why would I ever want to?

[Poor Riz. He'll take pity on him, though, and gesture back toward the house.]

Go ahead and head inside. The bathroom should work - I'll get this little one settled.

[He means the whale. The "little one" is the whale.]

Because gun?

[Riz gives Shadowmaru a look of incomprehension. Who wouldn't wanna own a gun?

(Not counting Boober)]

Aight.

[Riz'll go on ahead to find Shadowmaru's bathroom.]

... Riz. You're saying that to me. The Ninja detective. Guns are not my preferred method by any means.

[He's with Boober on this one.]

[But all right! Enough about that! Time to get the whale to the ocean to play with the dogs. They'll come get him if needed.]

[In short order, he'll sweep into the bathroom with a lot of... things. Like a sheet. A little black bag. And a broom.]

All right then. I should ask, how short do you prefer? [Since his is like. Down past his shoulders anymore.]

Hey, I'm the goddamn gun detective and I got a ninja sword.

[Riz shoots that back over his shoulder, and hey, it's true! Though he might not have ever mentioned that to Shadowmaru.

When Shadowmaru sweeps back into the bathroom, Riz gives the many attributes he is carrying back in with him a bit of a dubious glance. He's used to having his mom trim his hair for him, but Sklonda uses nothing more than a towel and a regular pair of scissors.]

Uh. I guess my hair has always kinda been the same length. My mom usually just cuts it.

[Both his eyebrows climb up as he steps inside the bathroom - clearly having heard that last comment.]

Did you? Where did you find that? Surely not with the poisoned tea.

[And the sheet goes around Riz's shoulders, while he sets the bag on the counter. It's a bunch of scissors, combs, and a set of clippers.]

Short enough to fit under your hat?

Would you believe me if I said I got it at an arcade?

[Which is absolutely the truth. But also, now that Riz thinks about it, kind of a hard sell.]

Uh. Yeah, I guess. I mean, what else can you do with it?

... I'm not sure I would.

[It must be a plastic sword. Right?]

[At Riz's question, he just arches an eyebrow.]

What can't I do? I've taught myself a great deal since I arrived here, after all.

Prepare to be surprised then.

[Cause guess what Shadowmaru? He got it from an arcade!! And it is not plastic. It's even magic.]

Huh.

[It's Riz stalling a little as he thinks. There's nothing wrong with his normal wayward curls, he feels. Especially not when he's normally got them tucked away under a hat anyway but...

His dad had always had shorter hair. Very slick.]

What, uh... what could you do with short hair?

I am always prepared for surprises.

[No he isn't.]

Well... I've seen a lot of humans with it shaved short along the sides. And then longer at the top. Here -

[He'll offer Riz his 'gear. It's got a folder labeled "HAIR - Short". Apparently he's organized a bunch of pictures saved off the internet.] Does anything here strike you?

[For a moment, Riz just focuses on the folder, perusing the pictures.]

Good organisation. I like it. This is good.

[Hey, you gotta appreciate a well organised folder.

Riz's eyes stop on one particular picture though -- a cut with shaved down sides and something longer on top.]

Could you... could you do something like that?

[He does a little bow at that - not the polite sort, but the kind you'd make at the end of a performance. The "of course it is" energy.]

I had to do something to keep track.

[Plus, you know, being AI probably helped in that regard.]

Hm... Yes. I'm sure I could. It would require the electric clippers, if you're amenable.

Sure. As long as you don't slice off what little ear I got left.

[Stupid tiny round human ears. But still better than no ears at all.]

Please. I would never.

[That's like the first law of robotics or something. Regardless, he'll busy himself getting the bits and pieces of hair cutting nonsense out and settled.]

Just a cut, I assume? Not ready to submit to the dyes?

[Riz sniffs in distaste.]

Pass. It's the only part of me that's still its proper colour.

Ahhh, yes. Precisely the reason I do dye mine. We'll just proceed with the cut then.

[Snip snip time Riz. Don't wiggle!]

[Riz immediately goes into stake-out mode. Which is to say, he's sitting absolutely still like a statue. While he might normally mutter to himself or gesture as he thinks, right now there is none of that. This is the rogue in him taking over and the only way Riz could be more still is if he was dead.]

[It does take him a moment or two to adjust to that. It's not something he's used to living beings doing.]

[Maybe... he really does fit.]

Nearly done. You're doing quite well.

[It really doesn't take much time at all when you're dealing with short hair, and a subject as still as Riz is being.]

[For Riz's part, it's kinda interesting to watch Shadowmaru snip and cut away his hair. Not that the act of cutting hair in itself is all that interesting, but Riz really hasn't had a different cut since... well, childhood. Even looking back at photos of himself, he pretty much had always had a head of messy curls, sometimes covered by a hat, sometimes not. This is a pretty big departure from his yearslong style (Fabian would probably say just letting your hair do whatever is not a style) and it interesting to see it take shape.]

Cool. Cool cool.

[Shadowmaru would agree with this Fabian, if they ever met. He would very much agree. For now, though, he'll just finish up with the clippers, the scissors, and give the hair a little brush through. He'll refrain from putting any product in it... for the moment.]

There we are. What do you think?

[A gesture toward the mirror.]

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