sassymaru | IC Inbox | VICTORY ROAD

I don't want to get your couch dirty.

[Mando might spend an inordinate amount of time polishing his armour--and why wouldn't he? Have you seen this stuff? It's gorgeous--but that doesn't mean dirt or grease doesn't get away from him sometimes.]

Are you a lightweight?

[Mando tilts his head at the question, much like a dog trying to hear something.]

I don't think the alcohol content is that strong.

[Mando, you fool! Just because it's wine doesn't mean it doesn't have an absolutely absurd amount of alcohol. Or maybe he's got a battle-hardened liver full of futuristic space healing properties and high alcohol contents don't bother him anymore.]

Edited 2022-10-16 18:22 (UTC)

It really isn't my couch, you know. And you can't be that filthy, or else I wouldn't allow you in.

[Simple as that. And yes, yes, your armor is stunning, Mando. He's noticed. Often.]

Lightweight? Ah. Yes, you could say that. A single drink in the past has caused... unfortunate results.

[He fell asleep on a hay bale. That's literally all it was. But he was itchy for days afterward. And had hay in his hair!]

I don't want any grease that I missed to get on the couch.

[But with Shadowmaru's reassurance, Mando settles in. If there is any grease or leftover polish on his armour, it's well hidden and somewhere inaccessible.]

Oh?

[Yeah, he wants this story.]

What happened?

If you were really so filthy, I'd hardly invite you in. Please, relax.

[He feels a little bad Mando looks so discomforted!]

[And then promptly turns red.]

It... it's nothing! I'm exaggerating!

[He's so embarrassed.]

[It's because the couch is white. Mando doesn't own anything white, for this exact reason! It just invites dirt.]

Now you have to tell me.

[Mando leans forward again, but this time it's in interest and not to keep the couch clean.]

I'll tell you an embarrassing story afterwards, if I hear this.

Fine...

[He flops back, dramatically, on the couch, a hand to his forehead. Sighing. His greatest failure!!]

I... was so intoxicated, I mistook a bale of hay... for my own bed.

And remained there until morning.

[ . . . . ]

That's it?

[Oh, you sweet summer child...]

I got drunk on a freight ship once and didn't sober up until I was fifteen parsecs further out in the Outer Rim than I'd planned. Took me four months to work my way back to my ship.

There was hay everywhere! And it itched... I looked ridiculous!

[That was clearly his only concern there. That and the itching.]

Four months? How is that possible?

[But now he's intrigued, and sitting up straighter. Cross-legged on the couch.]

Yeah, I imagine it was pretty silly. You're usually so well put together.

[Sorry, pal, but honesty is important in a ~~relationship~~ friendship. At least Mando knows to add a little sugar to the medicine with a compliment.]

It takes a lot of odd jobs to backtrack that far. Especially when you need your ship to do what you're best at.

[Well, that mollifies him somewhat. He huffs a time more, but smooths his outfit and his hair, unable to keep from preening a bit.]

Well. Thank you. I do my best to make sure I am.

[He's so easily flattered.]

And no one was willing to give you a ride?

No one gives rides for free in the Outer Rim.

[Or the Inner Rim, for that matter.]

[Mando shrugs.]

It wasn't that bad. I picked up jobs here and there, worked my way back to my ship. It had a nest of womp rats in it after all that time, but I got rid of them easily enough.

Why not?

[Look at him, he's on the edge of his seat listening.]

A nest of rats? That's horrific. How did you cope?

Buying fuel for ships is expensive.

[Is it flattering to have Shadowmaru hanging on his every word? It sure is! Mando is starting to get into telling this story.]

They're not too bad. They hate loud noises, so I stomped around and banged on the walls. It sent them running.

The only issue was having to keep making noise for three days to make sure I got all of them.

And ferrying one more human is that taxing on a ship?

[He's absolutely into this story. Keep talking Mando, he looks like he's hearing the Ted Talk of the year.]

Three days? There's no other solution? Just be loud for days?

[Mando's voice warms significantly when he responds.]

When you're traveling through hyperspace, yeah. And I'm not exactly a small human.

[Plus the weight of all his guns and armour!]

I could have poisoned them, but then I'd have to find all the dead rats in my ship. It was easier to drive them away.

I don't see anything wrong with you. You're not too large, either.

[So there!]

Ah... yes. I can see why that would be a poor choice. I'm sure animal activists agreed.

Thanks.

[Mando has that tone to his voice that means he's smiling under his helmet.]

I'm not very tall, but I'm heavy. And my armour and guns aren't light either. It's fine, though. I made my way back.

[And yes, he's very much noticed that Shadowmaru is taller than he is.]

Womp rats aren't very popular, so I don't think anyone would have minded. Except me, if a dead one started stinking and I was stuck in hyperspace with it.

[Frankly, he can tell that tone a bit. He likes the sound of it.]

Are you not? You seem a normal size to me. [... mostly because he's used to being uh. Tall. He's one of the tallest BP units, when the others aren't combined.] Though, I'm pleased to hear things turned out all right.

Ah... well. Yes, I can see how that would be an issue.

[A gross issue.]

Not in my world, anyway.

[Mando leans across the space between them and gives Shadowmaru a friendly shove on the shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, of course! Just friendly-like.]

I've seen what you look like normally. Everyone's short compared to that.

[And decidedly less able to turn into a jet.]

Yes. An issue no one wants.

[But enough about womp rats!]

What colors did you bring for my hair? How does this all work?

Well of course no human can compete with a BP-Unit! [He does roll slightly with the shove. He's not a slab of muscle like some people in the room, it's more wry. More like a gymnast, if he had that comparison available.] But even among my fellows...

[Right, enough about gross dead things. He taps his chin.]

I managed to procure silver, actually. Dark blue, and an equally dark green. As for how it works... well. You may need some form of mask. Or a way to reach your hair without revealing your face.

[If Mando was to make a comparison, he'd say Shadowmaru is built more like a Twi'lek, or maybe a Kaminoan. He doesn't have a Wookie build, like Mando. But that's fine. No complaints here.]

That sounds good. I'll leave the details up to you.

[Mando reaches into the messenger bag he's been carrying this whole time. He pushes aside a Pokemon egg (Mimikando is brewing in there) and pulls out a battered mask. Shadowmaru should recognise it; he painted over the horrible bright Pikachu yellow it was before.]

I can wear this again.

[Of course he recognizes it. The shape is a dead giveaway, even if the paint wasn't. His expression suddenly brightens - both in delight and in shock. He even clasps his hands together.]

You kept it? But it's - it was hardly worth holding onto...

[Good grief what is this strange new feeling??]

Of course I kept it.

[Was he not supposed to? Shadowmaru's reaction seems more happy than upset, though.]

You painted it for me. I wasn't going to just throw it away.

[... why does his face feel hot? Is he turning red? What ... is this feeling. This is new.]

Well! I assumed! You would simply photograph it. Or - or keep the memory.

[Is he... is he flustered?]

It's still a good mask, though. And now we can use it again for hair stuff.

[He tilts his head.]

Did you not want me to keep it?

[Maybe Shadowmaru would prefer he wear a mask made with better paint and more time?]

If you don't like how it looks, can you make me another one? For this kind of thing?

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